Sta.sh
1) The bible claims that God sacrificed Jesus for our sins. (John 3:16, Romans 3:25, Ephesians 5:2, Hebrews 9:26) (This is ignoring Deuteronomy 24:16 and Ezekiel 18:20, which state that everyone is to be responsible for their own transgressions without anyone else dying for their sins, thus undermining the primary basis of Christianity.)
2) Since Jesus is God (2 Peter 1:1, John 10:30-33, and other verses), premise 1 means that God sacrificed himself.
3) A sacrifice involves the destruction of the entire being, including the spirit. This seems intuitively obvious especially for a self-sacrifice, since it's not much of a sacrifice if the martyr is guaranteed an eternity in heaven. The bible never directly specifies what constitutes a "sacrifice," but it seems to support this intuition.
a) In the entire bible, only humans are said to have been given immortal souls. (Ecclesiastes 3:11, 12:7, and other verses)
b) The bible allows animal sacrifice (several passages in Leviticus 1), but it condemns human sacrifice in the same breath as witchcraft, sorcery, fortune telling, and other forms of magic. (Deuteronomy 18:10-11)
c) Of all the things the bible forbids, why lump human sacrifice together with magic? It would require some type of occult power to sacrifice the additional element of the soul.
Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
(Matthew 10:28)
Therefore, the bible implicitly defines sacrifice as the destruction of the whole being, including the spirit.
4) From the above premises, God must have died with no afterlife.
Therefore, according to the bible, God doesn't exist.
When you think about it, this explains so much. Within the scope of the bible, it tells us why Jesus 2.0 fell somewhat short of godlike omniscience, actually having to ask why anyone would doubt that he's the same person who was just brutally murdered. (Luke 24:38) It explains why, aside from the occasional disembodied voice that only believers could hear for some reason, God never appeared or acted after the sacrifice. In Acts of the Apostles 1-14, angels always acted in God's place. Is it really more plausible that God still existed, but he was always busy? He had a little too much on his plate, so he had to delegate?
It also explains some current observations, like the fact that Jesus has never returned as predicted. It tells why God is credited with all those spectacular, unmistakable miracles in biblical times but has no noticeable effect today. It even gives us an explanation for ghost sightings: there's nobody to admit them into heaven.
I wish I could say I figured it all out first, but I think Nietzsche beat me to it. Still, at least I can do my part by spreading the good word. In fact, since the bible is already famous for being revised and edited throughout history, I'll go ahead and add a new chapter to the bible. Don't worry, it's only three verses:
There's probably no God. (Dawkins 1:1) But if there is a higher power worth worshiping, he/she/it/they wouldn't want you to squander your life on fairy tales that don't even have happy endings. (Dawkins 1:2) So stop reading this and enjoy your life. (Dawkins 1:3) 
I don't know what you meant with "creative interpretations", I do know that in this world there are many people who try to use the Bible for their own selfish reasons, but that doesn't mean that God doesn't exist. When you are reading the Bible, don't try to formulate ideas out of the blue, read it as a manual that tells you good from bad.
There is tons of knowledge in the Bible, words of wisdom that have ever lasted since they were written, give God a chance, don't focus on the insanity of others that claim to be christian, focus on learning to be kind, respectful, loving and forgiving to your neighbors and to yourself.
God Bless You, I Hope that this message helps you somehow
>An omnipotent Being cannot complete a self-sacrifice without destroying Himself.
>An omniscient Being doesn't know what He's doing and accidentally sacrifices Himself to Himself.
>An immortal and omnipresent Being is able to be destroyed, in any case.
>Humans are flawless in their interpretation of God's Word, yet God Himself is flawed in the above ways.
You're right about Christians taking liberties with the Bible, but using other people who say silly things as an excuse to say silly things is just a silly thing to do.
I really wish more atheists would take note of Pascal's Wager, and at least be happy for the religious in that they have a better chance at Eternity than you do. And don't cite the Atheist's Wager; for a mortal to judge a god on whether or not it's worthy of worship is both arrogant and foolish. It's not unlike spitting in the face of your boss or teacher because you don't like what he's telling you to do.
Even though there might be good arguments in favor of religion, Pascal's Wager is not one of them.
And of course God doesn't judge only by belief. But belief and true faith cause good works--one can't begin to understand God and not want to devote themselves wholly to Him. Those who don't simply don't understand.
Also take note of what Jesus says about him dying... he says he comes so that we might BELIEVE. NEVER that it has ANYTHING to do with "sins."
Err.. Even heard of the Trinity? It's the Father sending the Son to die for us. One God, Three Divine Persons.
"b) The bible allows animal sacrifice (several passages in Leviticus 1), but it condemns human sacrifice in the same breath as witchcraft, sorcery, fortune telling, and other forms of magic. (Deuteronomy 18:10-11)"
Animal Sacrifice was used in the Old Testament to atone for sins. But Human Sacrifice was an abomination (and still is)
"c) Of all the things the bible forbids, why lump human sacrifice together with magic? It would require some type of occult power to sacrifice the additional element of the soul."
The human sacrifice in the OT was connected to paganism, which entailed the use sorcery.
Also, Matthew 10:28 has NO CONNECTION to sacrifice whatsoever. How you read that into the text is beyond me.
Anyway, I can't convince you of these but at least I have given a response to some of the points you brought up..
Since Jesus IS God, then jesus sacrificed Himself ...meaning God as well sacraficed Himself ....leading to the fact that if Humans have immortal souls, then Jesus was and is Human, and therefore God has an Immortal soul, although Jesus was sacraficed. So, how did or does God have no afterlife, if His Soul is Immortal? You did claim, yourself, the side of the argument that humans are immortal and Jesus was/is Human...so like I said, God is Immortal. Dude, you juxtaposed yourself as well as contradicted yourself. But, thank you for this intriguing analysis, which has some Christians assess their knowledge of the Bible.